Self-Regulation vs Co-Regulation: What's the Difference and Why Both Matter in Early Childhood
In early childhood, emotional development is closely linked to a child’s ability to manage feelings, behaviour, and stress. Two important concepts in this process are self-regulation and co-regulation. While they are different, they work together and are both essential for healthy development, learning, and school readiness.
Understanding self-regulation vs co-regulation helps educators and caregivers support children more effectively, especially when children experience big emotions or struggle to manage their emotional state.
What is self-regulation?
Self-regulation refers to a child’s ability to manage emotions, behaviour, attention, and impulses independently. This includes skills like waiting for a turn, calming down after becoming upset, focusing on a task, and solving problems without becoming overwhelmed.
Self-regulation skills develop gradually over time. Young children are not born able to self-regulate. Instead, their brain develops these abilities through repeated experiences of being supported by calm, responsive adults.
Self-regulation includes:
- managing strong emotions
- focusing attention
- controlling impulses
- problem solving
- coping with stress and frustration
These cognitive skills and emotional regulation abilities are essential for early childhood learning and social development.
What is co-regulation?
Co-regulation happens when a calm adult helps a child regulate their emotional state through warm and responsive interactions. Before children can self-regulate, they must first learn to co-regulate with adults.
Co-regulation strategies include:
- calm voice and body language
- comforting and reassurance
- helping children name feelings
- modelling calm behaviour
- providing structure and predictable routines
Through co-regulation, children begin to feel safe, understood, and supported. Over time, these repeated experiences help children develop the ability to regulate independently.
In simple terms, children learn self-regulation through co-regulation.
Why both matter in early childhood
Self-regulation and co-regulation are closely connected. When children have strong co-regulation support from educators, parents, and caregivers, their ability to regulate emotions improves over time.
Children who develop strong regulation skills are more likely to:
- manage stress and frustration
- build positive relationships
- focus and learn in the classroom
- solve problems and handle challenges
- feel confident and emotionally secure
These skills are critical for school readiness and long-term wellbeing.
Programs like Sunshine Circles provide structured opportunities for children to practice both self-regulation and co-regulation through playful group activities, warm interactions, and supportive environments.
Supporting regulation in early childhood settings
Educators and caregivers can support regulation development by:
- staying calm when children are upset
- helping children name emotions
- creating predictable routines
- using playful and nurturing interactions
- responding to behaviour with curiosity and support rather than punishment
When adults focus on connection before correction, children feel safe enough to learn how to manage their emotions and behaviour.
Sunshine Circles training and school readiness
Sunshine Circles® Training & School Readiness programs help educators support children’s social and emotional development through evidence-based group activities. The program focuses on self-regulation skills, co-regulation skills, and achievable challenges within a playful, cooperative environment that promotes emotional safety and school readiness.
Learn more about Sunshine Circles training here.
Understanding self-regulation vs co-regulation helps educators and caregivers create environments where children feel safe, supported, and ready to learn.